Q: What do you call a 350-pound stripper? A: Broke.

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 — lobster?”

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom? Because he was practicing Handel’s Water Music.

What is musical and handy in the supermarket. A Chopin Lizst.

Why did they arrest the musician? He got into treble.

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson? Because he’d already done the sharps and flats.

What’s musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer? A barrel organ.

Do you think, Professor, that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No, I think she should put down the lid as a favor.

Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music.

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus? A: He wanted to sing higher!