Q: Why is it dangerous to let your man’s mind wander? A: It’s too little to be out alone.

Q: Why do men float better than women? A: Because they are scum.

Q: What are the three types of men? A: The handsome, the caring, and the majority.

Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.

Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.

Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.

Men are like vacuum cleaners. They’re not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.

Men are like pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.