Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred …

An engineer, an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a philosopher were hiking through the hills of Scotland. Cresting the top of one hill, they see, on top of the next, a black sheep. The engineer says: “What do you know, the sheep in Scotland are black.” “Well, *some* of …

A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work. Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand …

Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked, ‘what did you think of the scenery ?’ ‘Oh, I couldn’t see much,’ Harry admitted. ‘There were all these mountains in the way.

The garbage men were just about to leave the street when a girl came running out of the house carrying some cardboard boxes. ‘Am I too late for the garbage ?’ she called. ‘No,’ replied one of the men, ‘jump right in !

What’s a cow’s favourite love song? When I fall in love , it will be for heifer.

Freda: Boys whisper they love me. Fred: Well, they wouldn’t admit it out loud, would they?’

What did one amorous flea say to the other? I love you aw-flea.

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road? Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

My brother’s looking for a girlfriend. Trouble is, he can’t find a girl who loves him as much as he loves himself.