Ugly clothes last a long time, don’t they? You can’t wear out ugly clothes. I used to just crawl to school on my knees, trying to put a hole in the jeans, man. They still built them tough — you can’t wear them out.
Přečíst celý »William Wilson: Hot Brick Church
We just had an old brick church. It’s like a barbeque pit, just hot — HOT. Everybody in there’s fanning. Old ladies got them old funeral parlor fans, they just fanning. I’m sweating. And the preacher, ‘If you don’t straighten out, you’re going to hell!’ I’m like, ‘Well, what is …
Přečíst celý »Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who’s standing there, scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby’s head can be beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be …
Přečíst celý »Where Is God?
A couple had two mischievous little boys, ages eight and 10. At their wits’ end, the parents contacted a clergyman who had been successful in rehabilitating bad children in the past.The clergyman asked to see the boys individually. The eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat …
Přečíst celý »Where Babies Come From
A little girl came home from school and told her mother that she just found out where babies come from. Her mother said, “Oh really? What were you told?”The little girl said, “First, Daddy’s penis gets hard, and then, he puts it in Mommy’s mouth… .”Her mother interrupted her and …
Přečíst celý »What Is The Answer
Teacher to student: Arnold what is the most popular answer to the teacher’s questions? Arnold: I don’t know ma’am. Teacher: ”Correct!”’
Přečíst celý »What did the Hispanic fireman…
Q: What did the Hispanic fireman name his son? A: Jose.
Přečíst celý »West Virginia Custody Battle
An old mountaineer and his young ex-wife were fighting over custody of their children.The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them.The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story.After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose …
Přečíst celý »Wendy Spero: Take Your Daughter to Work Day
My mom’s a sex therapist. On Take Your Daughter to Work Day, I hooked up with two guys.
Přečíst celý »Wendy Spero: Responsibility for the Family
Growing up was rough. Most of the responsibility of taking care of my ever-growing family was put on me. I was in over my head — Joyce would not leave my side; Carl had eye problems; Betsy lost a leg. Finally, I was like, ‘I cannot raise any more stuffed …
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