Mum, Mum, Dad’s broken my computer! How did he do that? I dropped it on his head.

Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use. Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we’ve got or don’t use any at all.

Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it! Pupil: But then it will crack and we won’t be able to use it at all.

Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on? Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you’re wearing looks fine.

This computer you charged me L950 for doesn’t work….and you said it would be trouble free. It is, I charged you L950 for the computer, but you’re getting all that trouble absolutely free!

Want to buy a pocket computer? No, thanks, I already know how many pockets I’ve got.

What did one mouse say to the other mouse? I get a click out of you.

What did the mouse say to the webcam? Cheese.

What do computer experts do at weekends? Go for a disk drive.

What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!