When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on top, but it’s very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There’s no room,’ they said. ‘It’s full up! ‘But you must let me on! shouted the man. ‘Why, what’s so special about you?’ they asked. I’m the driver,’ replied the man.

Why did the bus stop? Because it saw the zebra crossing.

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head? Dead.

Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There’s an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don’t sell them!

Sam left work after a tiring day. ‘Take the bus home,’ suggested a friend. ‘My mother would only make me take it back,’ Sam said.

Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but didn’t hurt yourself? Yes – I was trying to get to the back of the bus.

Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect we’ll pick up speed now you’re getting off!

Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No, they’re stopping to let the passengers off.

What have I got in my hands? A double decker bus! You looked!