A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that’s a weird dog: he’s stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn’t have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.” 50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the …
Přečíst celý »Stoned Fish
Q: What does a fish use to get high? A: Seaweed.
Přečíst celý »Statues Come to Life
Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years.An angel appeared before the statues and said, “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes …
Přečíst celý »Squirrel Kickin” Back
Q: Why did the squirrel lay on its stomach? A: To keep its nuts warm.
Přečíst celý »Spread Frog Legs
What did the lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? “What d’ya know, we do taste like chicken.”
Přečíst celý »Spider Diet
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
Přečíst celý »Space Monkeys
NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut on board. After months of training, they placed all three in the shuttle and prepared for launch.Mission Control Center announced, “This is Mission Control to Monkey One. Do your stuff.”The first monkey began frantically typing and …
Přečíst celý »Sons Devoted to Mom
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. “Well,” said the first one, “I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills.” “I bought …
Přečíst celý »Something Men Can’t Get…
Why can’t men get Mad Cow Disease? Because they are all PIGS!
Přečíst celý »Some Things You Just CAN’T
One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar. “What’s wrong, fella?” asked the bartender. ”Some things you just can’t explain.” ”Try me.” “Okay. I was milking my cow this morning and I filled the bucket clear to the top. …
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