My dad just got a toupee, also — not a very nice one, though, made out of cat hair. Every time you touch his head, his butt goes up in the air.
Přečíst celý »Mark Cohen: Protest at the Beach
I’m relaxing on the beach, and all of a sudden, all these women start gathering around me. They got these big signs; they’re going, ‘Fur is murder! Fur is murder!’ I said, ‘Lady, that’s my back. Now get off it.’
Přečíst celý »Marianne Sierk: Lost Kitten
So this is what I would do if I found this kitten: I would take her and I would shave her and I would dye her purple and I’d put little leather pants on her and I’d teach her to talk somehow — I don’t know how — and I’d …
Přečíst celý »Man vs. Pig
Q: What’s the difference between a man and a pig? A: There’s a difference?
Přečíst celý »Man & Duck
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “May I help you, sir?” The duck replies, “Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass.”
Přečíst celý »Mama Duck, Baby Duck
Q: What did did the mother duck say to her duckling? A: “If you don’t behave, I’m gonna quack you one.”
Přečíst celý »Male Bashing
Q: What can a bird do that a man can’t? A: Whistle through his pecker.
Přečíst celý »Mad Dog
Q: What kind of dog hears voices? A: A Shih-Tzu-Phrenic.
Přečíst celý »Mad Cows
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, “Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that’s going around?” The other cow answers, “Yeah, makes you glad you’re a penguin, doesn’t it?”
Přečíst celý »Lucky Dog
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself.Jeremy says, “Man, I wish I could do that!”Kris replies, “I think you’d have to pet him first.”
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