Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?A: Won’t happen — there are some things even a pig won’t do.
Přečíst celý »Larry the Cable Guy: Fishing While Hammered
We fishing the other day, and I get hammered and I’m like, ‘I gotta take a leak.’ So, I start peeing in the lake — realized I was in the fish tank up at the Red Lobster. Thank God they put some rubber bands on them lobster pinchers, I tell …
Přečíst celý »Lab Monkeys
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
Přečíst celý »Kyle Cease: Remote Controls at a Friend’s House
You ever go to your friend’s house and try to turn on the TV? It’s impossible. They have, like, 45 remote controls, right? Have you ever had your friend tell you to turn on the TV and then he leaves. And you’re just like, ‘Oh, sh*t’ — just pick up …
Přečíst celý »Kristian Vallee: Election System
Every time I see a politician on the campaign trail, they make all kinds of promises they have no intention of living up to. Basically, our election system has become a more sophisticated version of that game you used to play with your dog when you were a kid, where …
Přečíst celý »Knock, Knock… Polar
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Polar. Polar who? Polar pants down!
Přečíst celý »Knock, Knock… Interrupting Cow
Knock, Knock.Who’s there?Interrupting cow.Interrupting cow wh–MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Přečíst celý »Knock, Knock… Cows Go
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly. Cows go, “Moo.”
Přečíst celý »Knock, Knock… Canoe
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe put sunblock on my back?
Přečíst celý »Kitty Treat
What does a cat like to eat on a hot summer’s day? A mice cream cone!
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