Animal Jokes

Want to see why the Sherpas call me the Abdominal Showman?

You know what they say about Bigfoot? I’m bigger.

Q: What’s a wok?A: Something you throw at a wabbit.

There once was a toad that was excluded from all Green Toad activities because he was a handsome shade of yellow. So he went to visit a beautiful fairy in the town over who had the power to grant wishes. “Fairy,” he said. “I would like to be green, so …

Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You’d smell too if you played with Pooh all day!

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.

To have hot sex with the perverted farmer.

— They don’t listen.— They don’t come in when you call.— They like to stay out all night.— Only when you are trying to get things done do they want your attention.— Mostly, they like to be left alone to sleep.

Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night.The first guy says, “Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks.”The second guy says, “I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch.”The third guy says, …

How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five – one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.