Promised some people this week that I would water their plants and take care of their animals while they want on vacation. Bad idea — the people are farmers.
Přečíst celý »It’s What’s For Dinner
What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off
Přečíst celý »It’s Not For Him, Stupid
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman’s head. “Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper.” “What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now.”
Přečíst celý »Inky Pig
Why did the pig have ink all over his face? Because it came out of the pen.
Přečíst celý »I’m Very Bullish On Milk
A farmer and a son live on a farm. The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid. He is so excited because he’s just milked a cow. Then he takes a big drink from the glass. …
Přečíst celý »I Think I’m a Moth
A guy walks into a dentist’s office and says, “I think I’m a moth.” The dentist replies “You shouldn’t be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist…” The guys replies, “I am seeing a psychiatrist.” The dentist says, “Well then what are you doing here?” And the guy says, “Your …
Přečíst celý »Hurt Bee Back
Q: How did the bee hurt his back? A: He fell off his honey.
Přečíst celý »Huntin’ License
A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia. When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack. “Three rabbits,” Jed said. The warden said, “Let me see one of those …
Přečíst celý »Humming Bees
Q: Why do bees hum?A: They don’t know the words.
Přečíst celý »Howard Kremer: Epileptic Fish
I recently bought a goldfish. It turns out it was epileptic. Weird thing is — as long as I left it in the tank, it was fine; the second you took it out to play fetch, it was just seizure city.
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