As the title suggests, this is how to successfully catch an elephant: First, you need to dig a hole in the ground that is capable of holding an elephant. Fill the hole with ashes. Line the hole with peas. And when your elephant comes to take a pea, you kick …
Přečíst celý »How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
How does a blonde try to kill a fish? She drowns it!!
Přečíst celý »How Do You Catch?
How do you catch a unique animal? You ‘neak up on it.
Přečíst celý »Horse Fall
Q: What did the horse say when he fell?A: I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!
Přečíst celý »Holy Moley
How Does a dummy kill a mole? He buries it.
Přečíst celý »Holy Cow
A farmer walks out on his field and sees something outrageous: a cow with a halo over her head, a cat on the cow’s back, and a rabbit on the cat’s back.“HOLY COW!” he exclaims, “I’ve never seen a hare on that pussy!”
Přečíst celý »Hillbilly Chicks and Bears
Q: What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?A: They both lick their paws.
Přečíst celý »Henriette Mantel: Quitting Coffee
I’m trying to quit because I found out they’re using caffeine as an insecticide now. They’re spraying it over the crops in Texas to kill the bugs. I said, ‘I’m putting that in my body every day?’ Just to prove I’m wrong, the other night in my apartment, I took …
Přečíst celý »Henriette Mantel: Horse Love
I just wrote an article about the love I always have for my horse. It’s entitled, ‘I’m Stable; You Live in One.’
Přečíst celý »Help. I Lost My Crippled Turtle.
Where do you find a turtle with no arms and no legs? Wherever you put it, dumbass.
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