Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with a turkey? A: Drumsticks for everybody!
Přečíst celý »Gary Lazer: Pet Parrot
I got a parrot; it turned on me. You don’t realize how strong those birds are, but I was walking by its cage one day — boom! — the next thing you know, I’m in a chair,; I’m all tied up; I have a gag in my mouth. And the …
Přečíst celý »Garage of Love
Q: How can you tell if a elephant had sex in your garage? A: You’re missing a Hefty bag.
Přečíst celý »Full of Wool
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means …
Přečíst celý »Frog’s Dream Girl
A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl. The psychic tells him, “Yes, you are.” The frog replies, “Where? In a bar or at a party?” The psychic says, “In biology class.”
Přečíst celý »Frog on the Lady’s Head
A lady with a frog stuck to her head went to the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked her what was wrong, the frog replied, “I’ve got something stuck to my ass!”
Přečíst celý »Frog Crossing the Road
Q: Why did the frog cross the road? A: It didn’t — it got run over halfway across.
Přečíst celý »Frank Prinzi: Trouble Sleeping
I have trouble sleeping, and I blame my diet. I’ve been buying a lot of those deep-friend pork skins. I’m not eating them, though. I’m just trying to reassemble a pig in my apartment.
Přečíst celý »For my next trick…
Q: Did you hear about the magic tractor? A: It drove down the lane and turned into a field.
Přečíst celý »Football Fan To The Rescue
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck. A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes …
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