Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Přečíst celý »Careful What You Kick
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, “Not until you feed the animals.”The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, “I don’t feel like feeding you today.” So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into …
Přečíst celý »Bug’s Mind
Q: What is the last thing to go through a bug’s mind when it hits your windshield? A: Its ass.
Přečíst celý »Bruce Baum: Elliot’s Peripheral Extrapolation Theorem
You guys familiar with Elliot’s Peripheral Extrapolation Theorem? That’s the one that states that depending on the size of an enclosure, i.e. an aquarium or terrarium, that the animal, i.e. fish or lizard, that you put in that area will grow depending on the size and the room it has …
Přečíst celý »Broken Cage
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: “Cheap, cheap!”
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Shot an Elk
I went hunting for the first time. I shot an elk. I felt really bad at first, but the guy was wearing a plaid leisure suit.
Přečíst celý »Brave Pig With the Peg Leg
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.The farmer said, “That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.”“So why does he have a wooden leg?” the tourist asked.“One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all …
Přečíst celý »Bovine Hijinx
Q; What do cows do for fun? A: They go to the moo-vies!
Přečíst celý »Bob Nickman: Strobe Headlines
Put strobe headlights in my car to make the deer run slower.
Přečíst celý »Bob Marley: Atkins Diet
I thought I’d like this thing because I like meat. Three days into it, I had eaten so much meat, I was perusing the neighborhood at four in the morning looking for cats and stuff. My heart was beating a million miles a minute. I’ve got bacon fat dripping off …
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