Q: What’s black and white and red all over? A: An embarassed zebra!
Přečíst celý »Birds of Paradise
Yo’ mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
Přečíst celý »Birdman
Little girl: “Why does your son say, ‘Cluck, cluck, cluck?'” Mother: “Because he thinks he’s a chicken.” Little girl: “Why don’t you tell him he’s not a chicken?” Mother: “We need the eggs.”
Přečíst celý »Birdie Poem
Birdie, birdie, in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I’m a big girl, I won’t cry, I’m just glad that cows don’t fly.
Přečíst celý »Bird It Through the Grapevine
Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable.
Přečíst celý »Bill Kirchenbauer: Sea World Seafood
The stupidest thing I noticed was a couple of weeks ago. I went to Sea World. Now, if you ever go to Sea World, take a minute to notice that they sell fish sandwiches at Sea World. What insensitive guy came up with this? It’s like, if you’re not doing …
Přečíst celý »Bill Dwyer: Why Kids?
We have kids because we didn’t want pets.
Přečíst celý »Bill Dwyer: Petting Zoo
The petting zoo’s a great place to go if you want to discard your child’s clothing in a goat’s stomach.
Přečíst celý »Bill Coronel: Dog Food Guideline
I don’t eat food that a dog won’t touch. That’s my guideline. Try to give tofu to a dog. He goes, ‘I don’t think so. No.’ It’s a dog. It licks between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants. If he doesn’t like something, I go with that opinion. He’s drinking …
Přečíst celý »Big Noses
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers.
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