The best way to smuggle drugs into a country is to place them carefully in a dog’s bottom… because at the airport, if the sniffer dog suspects anything, the officials will think they’re just being frisky… unless of course your dog wears sunglasses and sweats a lot.
Přečíst celý »Apple & Worm
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You’re boring me.
Přečíst celý »Ants in Your Pants
Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl? A: He got pissed off.
Přečíst celý »Ants Dancing
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, “Twist to open.”
Přečíst celý »Another Chicken, Another Road
Q: Why did the stoner cross the road? A: Who else would follow a chicken?
Přečíst celý »Animal Rotation
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
Přečíst celý »Animal Lives
Q: What has more lives than a cat? A: A frog — it croaks every night.
Přečíst celý »Andrew Norelli: Wrong Time to Worry
People worry about health at the wrong times, you ever notice that? ‘Ooh, there’s a hair in my food.’ You’re eating bacon — there’s a pig’s ass in your food.
Přečíst celý »An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called – and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see …
Přečíst celý »Amanda Melson: Take Back the Field
I read that, apparently, 13% of young men living in rural America lose their virginity to livestock. That is not right — those poor cows. I’m thinking of starting the first annual ‘Take Back the Field’ rally. I’ve got some slogans for the cows, like, ‘Moo Means No!’ Or, ‘Hey, …
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