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Animal Jokes

Whale Hijinx

Two whales are swimming along one day, bored. One whale spots a ship and suggests to the other, “Hey, why don”t we swim under that boat, and spurt out water so it tips over?” “Well,” says the other whale, “I”ll give it a blow job, but I refuse to swallow …

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West Virginia Ghosts

A visiting professor at the University of West Virginia gives a seminar on the supernatural.To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”About 40 students raise their hands.“Well, that’s a good start,” says the professor. “How many have seen a ghost?”About 20 students …

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West Virginia Deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer (no eye deer with southern twang – in case you didn’t catch that) What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no ideer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs and …

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Well Endowed and On the Prowl

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. “Hmm,” said the madam. “I’m not sure. Try the first door on the right.” So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. “It’s too big! …

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Warming the Skunk

Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk.“We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm.”“But, Jim, what about the smell?”“Don’t worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it.”

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Walks Into a Bar… Three Tests

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s up with the jar?”“Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money.”“What are the …

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