A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’ll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.“That is amazing!” says the bartender and gives him a beer.“If I show you something else, …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Taxidermy
A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, “You’re not from ’round here are ya?”“No” replies the man, “I’m from New Hampshire.” The bartender looks at him and says, “Well what do you do in New Hampshire?”“I’m a …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Talking Dog
A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, “Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?”The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Sure, the toilet’s right …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… South American Toad
A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him.The guy asks, “What’s in the box?”The older guy says matter-of-factly, “A South American Blow Job Toad.”The young guy looks around. “Can I try it?”The older guy nods. The young …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Seeing-Eye Dog
A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He stands in the center of the bar, takes the dog by the chain, and starts swinging him above his head.Everyone stops and stares. Upset about the way the animal is being treated, a patron runs up to the …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Randy Panda
A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves.The next night, the woman …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Monkey Eats Everything
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. The bartender screams at the guy, …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Jets Fan
A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, “No pets allowed.”The man replies, “This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you’ll see. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips.”The Jets keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Horsing Around
A farmer walks into a bar with a horse. He says, “I will give any of you $1,000 if you can make my horse laugh.”A man yells, “I’ll take that bet,” and leads the horse into the men’s room.After a couple seconds, a loud braying laugh is heard from behind …
Přečíst celý »Walks Into a Bar… Got Grapes?
A duck walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?”The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Got any grapes?”Again, the bartender tells him, “No — the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, …
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