I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
Přečíst celý »Two men
Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
Přečíst celý »Two cartons of yogurt walk
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”
Přečíst celý »A drunken man was wondering around the
A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. “What the heck are you doing?” he asks the drunk. “I’m looking for my car, …
Přečíst celý »Barty and Dunny met in a pub
Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. “Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.” “Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asked the other. “Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin — but by …
Přečíst celý »The local District Judge had
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. “Now don’t let me ever see …
Přečíst celý »Monahan stumbled
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. “Say,” he said to the bartender, “how tall is a penguin?” “About two and a half feet.” “Thank God!” cried Monahan. “I thought I ran over a nun!”
Přečíst celý »Didja hear the news?
Didja hear the news? asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. “Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!” “Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!”
Přečíst celý »The Lone Ranger and Tonto
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?” …
Přečíst celý »A man walks into a Kansas
A man walks into a Kansas bar with his golden retriever. “Hey,” says the bartender, “No dogs allowed in the bar.” “Oh please?,” begs the customer. You see, you’re playing the Royals game, and my dog is a really big fan of the Royals.” “You’re trying to tell me that …
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