Blonde jokes

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White? A: They can’t find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

There was a blonde, two brunettes, and redhead in a 400 meter relay. The starter said, “On your mark, get set, go.” The blonde ran all the way around and said, “It was a 400 meter race, wasn’t it?”

Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde? A: The bleached blonde isn’t throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!

A blonde is putting together a puzzle. She is very frustrated and asks her husband for help.“It’s supposed to be a tiger!” she cries.“Honey,” says her husband wearily, “Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

A man notices a blonde sucking on the bottom of a Coke can. Curious, he asks her what she’s doing. “Duh! It says for best taste drink by date on the bottom.”

Q: A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker. Who wins? A: The stupid blonde — the other two don’t exist.

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions. “Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?” said the teacher. “Nope. I haven’t,” said the dumb jock. …

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. “Help, help!” yells one of the blondes. “Help us, help us!” yells the other. “Maybe it would help if we yelled together,” said the first blonde. “Good idea,” said the other. “Together, together!”

How can you tell a blond has been working at a computer? There is white out all over the screen.

Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove to people that she wasn’t just a dumb blonde. So she asked her friend “how could I show people I’m not just a dumb blonde?” Her friend says, “First learn all the provinces and their capitals.” So that week the blonde …