Cannibal Jokes

What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.

First cannibal: I can’t find anything to eat! Second cannibal: But the jungle’s full of people. First cannibal: Yes, but they’re all very unsavory.

Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.

Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other “I don’t like your friend.” The other one said, “Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables.”

The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. “For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful.”

Well, children, said the cannibal cooking teacher. “What did you make of the new English teacher?” “Burgers, ma’am.”

Two cannibals were having lunch. “Your wife makes a great soup,” said one to the other. “Yes!” agreed the first. “But I’m going to miss her terribly.”

First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper.

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, …

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she’s too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying …