Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!
Přečíst celý »Zookeeper and Three Boys
A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions’ cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to. The first boy says, “My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.” The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed …
Přečíst celý »Zip, Dick and Pea
There were three boys in a classroom: one named Zip, one named Dick, and one named Pea. Their teacher leaves the room for a moment, so Zip gets on top of the cupboard, Dick goes inside the cupboard, and Pee jumps around outside.The teacher returns and yells, “Zip down, Dick …
Přečíst celý »You Grew Up in the 80s If…
— You learned to swim about the same time “Jaws” came out and still can’t swim naked at night.— Prince’s “1999” was the focal point of your plans for an end of the century party.— You dressed to emulate either Duran Duran, Poison, Madonna, Rick Springfield or Cyndi Lauper.— You …
Přečíst celý »Write this one down
Knock, knock Who’s there?
Přečíst celý »Words of Wisdom from Children
Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 Never allow …
Přečíst celý »Wise Old Man
A retired man moves near a junior high school. He spends the first few weeks of retirement in peace and quiet. However, when a new school year begins, three young boys beat on every trash can they encounter every day on their way home from school.Finally, the man decides to …
Přečíst celý »William Wilson: Tough Ugly Clothes
Ugly clothes last a long time, don’t they? You can’t wear out ugly clothes. I used to just crawl to school on my knees, trying to put a hole in the jeans, man. They still built them tough — you can’t wear them out.
Přečíst celý »William Wilson: Hot Brick Church
We just had an old brick church. It’s like a barbeque pit, just hot — HOT. Everybody in there’s fanning. Old ladies got them old funeral parlor fans, they just fanning. I’m sweating. And the preacher, ‘If you don’t straighten out, you’re going to hell!’ I’m like, ‘Well, what is …
Přečíst celý »Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who’s standing there, scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby’s head can be beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be …
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