Children Jokes

A couple had two mischievous little boys, ages eight and 10. At their wits’ end, the parents contacted a clergyman who had been successful in rehabilitating bad children in the past.The clergyman asked to see the boys individually. The eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat …

A little girl came home from school and told her mother that she just found out where babies come from. Her mother said, “Oh really? What were you told?”The little girl said, “First, Daddy’s penis gets hard, and then, he puts it in Mommy’s mouth… .”Her mother interrupted her and …

Teacher to student: Arnold what is the most popular answer to the teacher’s questions? Arnold: I don’t know ma’am. Teacher: ”Correct!”’

Q: What did the Hispanic fireman name his son? A: Jose.

An old mountaineer and his young ex-wife were fighting over custody of their children.The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them.The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story.After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose …

My mom’s a sex therapist. On Take Your Daughter to Work Day, I hooked up with two guys.

Growing up was rough. Most of the responsibility of taking care of my ever-growing family was put on me. I was in over my head — Joyce would not leave my side; Carl had eye problems; Betsy lost a leg. Finally, I was like, ‘I cannot raise any more stuffed …

I’m scared of sex. You can get something terminal — like a kid.

I got my period today. I’m happy ’cause most of my friends got it when they were 13.

Little Jimmy had become a real nuisance while the men tried to concentrate on their Saturday afternoon poker game. His father tried in every way he could to get Jimmy to occupy himself, but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the cards …