Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge? A: He saw the salad dressing.
Přečíst celý »Daughter’s Prayer
A family was having guests to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and says, “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” replies the little girl. “Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie.” Her daughter takes a deep …
Přečíst celý »Dat Phan: Too Violent
I watch Japanese animation, right? My mom’s like, ‘Dat Phan, you cannot watch cartoon — it’s too violent!’ This is the same woman that goes, like, ‘Dat Phan, if you don’t take out the trash now, I will kill you!’
Přečíst celý »Dat Phan: That’s My Son
My poor mom, she’s like, ‘That’s my son, Dat Phan. He crack joke all the time. I tell him go to law school, become a lawyer. But no, he move up to Hollywood — he live out of his car; he eat Top Ramen with all the gay guys.’
Přečíst celý »Need a Push?
Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing. A: She had no arms.
Přečíst celý »Dat Phan: Joined Five Gangs
I’m gonna come home with, like, five fake earrings on and be like, ‘Mom, today I joined five gangs.’ ‘Huh! You also five times gay! Get out of house, fruit loop.’
Přečíst celý »Dat Phan: Dad’s Two Comments
My dad only said two things to me around the house, you know, when I was there. Number one: ‘OK, OK, U.S.A.’ And two: ‘Good. Good, Dat Phan.’ How do you carry a conversation on with that? Like, ‘Dad, how are you doing?’ ‘OK.’ Like, ‘Dad, the house is on …
Přečíst celý »My Father, The Whorehouse Piano Player
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.Billy proudly stands up and announces, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy’s mother and explains what Billy said.Billy’s mother says, “Actually, his …
Přečíst celý »Dat Phan: Comedy Is For Me
I love doing comedy, you guys. I knew comedy was for me when I was the only Asian in high school that failed math. But you know, when I failed, eight other students around me failed, too.
Přečíst celý »Darrell Joyce: What’s Your Secret?
I just had a birthday. My buddies all took me out. One of them pipes up, out of nowhere, he’s like, ‘You know, out of all of us, D, you’re the only one, man, who does not have any kids. I said, ‘Ha-ha-ha-ha, yeah!’ And the other one said, ‘What’s …
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