We picked out kinda old fashioned names for our kids. Our little boy is Hunter, and our little girl is Gatherer.
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Geometry
Teacher: “Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, ‘geometry.'”Little Johnny: “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, ‘Gee, I’m a tree.'”
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Not Very Tough
When I was in junior high, we moved to the suburbs to a neighborhood that was not very tough at all. Even our school bully was only passive-aggressive. He wouldn’t take your lunch; he’d just go, ‘You’re gonna eat all that?’
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Finding Jesus
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”Steven raises his hand and says, “He’s in Heaven.”Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.”Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He’s in our bathroom!”The …
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Fascinate
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word “fascinate” in it. A little girl says, “Walt Disney World is fascinating.”The teacher says, “No, I said, ‘fascinate.'”Another little girl says, “There’s so much fascination when it comes to sea life.”The teacher again says, “No, the word …
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Marry Daddy
Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, ‘Dad, when I grow up, I’m gonna marry you.’ We laughed about it. My wife said, ‘Don’t make the same mistakes I did.’
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Big Word
The teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?”Little Johnny waves his hand, “Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!”The teacher smiles and says, “Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?”Little Johnny says, “Mas-tur-bate.”The teacher is taken aback, but she …
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Idiot Teacher
I was tucking my son in last night, and he tells me that he hates his teacher. She’s ‘an idiot’ and she’s ‘out to get him,’ which is the last thing you want to hear when your kid’s home schooled.
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Baby Talk
Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”“No,” says his mom, “Of course not.”After Little Johnny runs back outside, his mom hears him yell to his friend, “It’s OK, we can keep playing!”
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: First Confession
It’s been a big year for my eight-year-old. Two months ago, he made his first confession. Took the cops four hours to break him. He’s got some willpower.
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