One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile …
Přečíst celý »Jonathan Corbett: Retired Father
My dad is retired now, and he moved to Florida. And it’s really great to be able to finally go down and visit him now that he’s finally able to do those things in life that he’s always wanted to do, which apparently is start drinking at noon and then …
Přečíst celý »Three Daughters Dinner
Three girls asked their mother if they could invite their boyfriends over for dinner. Their mother told them to go upstairs to get ready and to call them. An hour later, when the girls were not downstairs yet, and the boyfriends had still not shown up, the mother went to …
Přečíst celý »Jon Ross: New Parenting
They encourage the kids to call them by their first names… I think that’s weird and I think it’s wrong, but I’m old fashioned. But I’m not married, so my kids call me ‘the defendant.’
Přečíst celý »This Joke Is Toast
Q: What does a slice of toast wear to bed? A: Jammies.
Přečíst celý »Johnny Steele: Class Clown
That’s a tough and dedicated job to be a class clown. You basically throw your educational future in the toilet for the amusement of your pinhead classmates who didn’t pay a cover charge.
Přečíst celý »Things I’ve Learned from My Children
1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, …
Přečíst celý »Johnny Sanchez: Old School Bumper Cars
Not like these wimpy bumper cars they have now with padding, seat belts and air bags. Back then, it was just metal, that’s it. It was like sitting in a wheelbarrow. If you got hit, man, there was some permanent damage.
Přečíst celý »Things Children Have Learned
No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. You …
Přečíst celý »Johnny Sanchez: Bored as a Kid
When you’re a kid, man, you just started doing something — it was fun… Remember you’d be in the other room, bored, complete burnout time: ‘Man, I’m bored, man.’ You just make something up. It was just great. ‘Alright, I’m gonna run in the kitchen, touch the refrigerator and come …
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