Q: What’s the best time to fake an orgasm? A: When a Rottweiler is humping your leg.
Přečíst celý »Fair Exchange
Two couples go on vacation together. After a week, they are thoroughly bored. The men decide that maybe life will take on new meaning if they change partners. They all agree that it’s an experiment worth trying. The morning after the switch, one of the husbands says, ”I’m glad we …
Přečíst celý »Eye Exam
A guy goes to the eye doctor. In the middle of the exam, the doctor tells him, “You need to stop masturbating.” The guy replies, “Why Doc? Am I going blind?” The doctor says, “No, but you’re upsetting my nurse and me.”
Přečíst celý »Extra-Large Condoms
A woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra-large condoms. The pharmacist replies, “Yes, would you like to buy some?” The woman says, “No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait to see if anyone buys a box?”
Přečíst celý »Exterminator Booty Call… Perfume
I couldn’t help but notice your perfume. Is that Chlordane #5?
Přečíst celý »Exotic Male Dancer Cash
Three ladies go to an exotic male strip club. One friend pulls out a $10 bill, licks it and sticks it on a stripper’s left butt cheek. Not to be outdone, the second friend pulls out a $50 bill, licks it and sticks it to his right butt cheek. The …
Přečíst celý »Eliot Chang: Politically Correct Friend
He actually said this to me; he’s like, ‘Hey man, you got to be careful. There’s a lot of women that have an Asian fetish.’ ‘Well, what do you mean?’ ‘They’ll have sex with you just ’cause you’re Asian. Aren’t you offended?’ Uh, I’ll be offended after my orgasm.
Přečíst celý »Eliot Chang: Girlfriend and Ex-Girlfriend
My current girlfriend doesn’t like it when I hang out with my ex-girlfriend. She’s really worried I’m going to have sex with my ex-girlfriend — twice last night. I’m just kidding. I do my best to not cheat on both my girlfriends.
Přečíst celý »Eliot Chang: Gay Friend
We have this other friend, he’s a homophobe. Now it’s really weird ’cause the three of us, we can’t hang out together. We can’t be in the same room ’cause you know the homophobe’s like, ‘Hey, I’m not hanging out with him. He’s going to try and have sex with …
Přečíst celý »Eliot Chang: Consolation Prize
I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. ‘Cause girls will say things like, ‘Oh, we’re not going to have sex, but I’ll give you a hand job.’ I have hands. They have the job. The position is filled. I don’t need to outsource …
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