Dirty Jokes

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When …

A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair. “Fellas! My p***y is so big that I’ll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can’t take.” A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y. The …

What is more fun that stapeling babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes. A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won’t stop for anything.About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the …

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he’s driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her — but he can’t. Later, he sees a kid skating and can’t …

What is tougher than a pitbull with AIDS? The guy who gave it to him.

One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her. “If you’re …

10) Your mom. 9) Piss in the wind. 8) Spit straight up. 7) “No, officer, we haven’t been drinking…” 6) Swallow. 5) Drop the soap. 4) Eat it if it smells. 3) Get drunk at a gay bar. 2) Play leapfrog with a unicorn. 1) Use Elmers’ glue for a …

What do you call a fart? A turd honking for the right of way.

Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?A: He drowned in his own tea pee.