Dirty Jokes

Gee, that shirt is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d be coming, too.

A city girl was driving back to town after attending a family funeral when she ran out of gas. It was getting late so she asked two good ol’ boys sitting on the stoop of a mobile home where she could get some gas. “Well,” said one, “the fillin’ station …

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?” The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes.” “I’m sorry sir.”, said the ticket agent, “We don’t allow animals in the theater.” The old …

Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any children? A: He only comes once a year — and when he does, it’s down a chimney.

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month’s Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here? Secretary: My lawyer.

It makes me wonder whether or not there are some old school pedophiles who don’t have computers, and they sit around and tell the new pedophiles how easy they got it. ‘You know, when I was a young man, there was no Internet. You wanted to meet an eighth grade …

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench, and a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, and the third lady’s arm was too short to reach.

Children in the backseat can cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

Q: Why can’t psychics have children? A: Their husbands have crystal balls.

A woman was in bed having sex with her husband’s friend when the telephone rang. After hanging up, she says, ”That was Harry, but don’t worry — he won’t be home for a while. He’s playing cards with you.”