Dirty Jokes

When it comes to sex, I like to refer to my wife as Circuit City because she has no interest until January of next year.

Q: What is Bill Clinton’s favorite card game? A: Poker.

A woman tells her doctor, “My husband is 300% impotent. The doctor asks her, “I’m not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?” She replies, “Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger.”

Why does a woman pierce her belly button? So she can hang an air freshner from it.

Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: “I should warn you, Ted: I’ve got acute angina.” Ted: “Your breasts aren’t bad either.”

Q: What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson’s breasts? A: Silicon Valley.

A little boy and a little girl are in the bathtub together. The little girl looks down at the boy and asks, “Can I touch it?” He answers, “No way — you already broke yours off!”

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? A: He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

I sent away for a penis enlarger. They sent me back a magnifying glass.

Q: What does sex have in common with a savings account? A: You lose interest once you make a withdrawal.