What’s worse than waking up in the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? Waking up in the morning after after an orgy with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
Přečíst celý »The Whore
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, ”Gimme anything you got.” So then he is having sex with this women and says ”Gosh, you’re really rough inside.” …
Přečíst celý »The Vampire
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said ‘TEA TIME!’
Přečíst celý »The Vacuum Business Sucks
A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood. When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor.He says, “Ma’am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I’ll eat whatever …
Přečíst celý »The Unfortunate Penis
— You’ve got a hole in your head.— You always hang around with two nuts.— Your closest neighbor is an a**hole.— Your best friend is a pussy.— Every time you get excited, you throw up.
Přečíst celý »The Toothbrush Salesman
Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can’t figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the …
Přečíst celý »The Toothbrush And The Toilet Paper
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, ”Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.” Then the toilet paper yells, “Think again buddy!”
Přečíst celý »The Three Generals
The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body — to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to …
Přečíst celý »The Scent of an Old Woman
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel’s elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, “Georgio, $100 an ounce.”On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, “Chanel, $150 an ounce.”The old lady’s floor approaches and …
Přečíst celý »The Scent of a Carrot
What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts!
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