Dirty Jokes

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her. She asked him, “Were you admiring my airplane?” He replied, “No, I was admiring the landing field.”

Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

Q: What comes after 69? A: Mouthwash.

God came to Adam and said, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” “Well, give me the good news first,” Adam replied. “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have wonderful …

I like a big butt, though. I like a butt so big you can sit a clock radio and a drink on it.

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says, “My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the …

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, “Well …

There was a young man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamt that Venus Was strokin’ his penis And woke with a handful of goo.

There was a young man from Calcutta Who spent his life in the gutta. Till the tropical heat Got the best of his meat, And turned his cream to butta.

One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. “My …