Dirty Jokes

Whats the definition of love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was going on in the neighbourhood. So the boy stood on the balcony …

A male market researcher was calling on homes on behalf of Vaseline. A woman answered the door.”Do you use Vaseline?” asked the researcher. “Certainly,” she said. “It’s very good for cuts, grazes and burns.” “And what about anything else?” he asked. “Like what?” He became embarrassed. “Well, sex, maybe.” Oh, …

A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn’t move. He finally brought the truck’ …

A woman went to the doctor and complained that she was suffering from I knee pains. “Do you indulge in any activity that puts a lot of pressure on your knees?” asked the doctor. “Every night, my husband and I have sex on the floor doggy style.” “I see,” said …

Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. “Every time we make love,” she said, “I get splinters.” So Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for advice. “Sandpaper,” said the carpenter. “That’s what you need.” So Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few …

Q. What do you call 1,000 heavily armed lesbians? A. Militia Etheridge’

Q: Why did the blonde make love in the microwave? A: She wanted to have a baby in 9 minutes.

Q: Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy? A: She wanted to stop having grandchildren.