Dirty Jokes

What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!

A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, “How’d you get such lovely blonde hair” Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, “It’s natural.” The guy walked by the second girl and asked, “How’d you get such pretty …

Q: What went through the fly’s mind as he hit the windshield? A: His butt.

Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.

I’m not gonna cut the cord. I mean, babies get mixed up or even stolen from hospitals all the time. This is obviously the best way to prevent it. What better way to prove it’s your kid than to make sure it’s still connected to you? Believe me, I raised …

Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table.   Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body.  When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a …

Want to hear a dirty joke? A man fell in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? He took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was his neighbor.

How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.

Q: What’s black, white and red all over and doesn’t fit through revolving doors? A: A nun with a spear through her head.