Dirty Jokes

Whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent, an old pirate captain would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of his crew members asked him what it meant. The pirate captain replied, “It’s in case I get shot. I don’t want …

Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other? A: “Together, we can stop this s**t.”

Q: Why did the skeleton burp? A: It didn’t have the guts to fart.

Now what I don’t get are these people who, instead of buying a four-pack or an eight-pack of toilet paper, they buy the single individual roll. Are you trying to quit?

What’s the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

I’ve got a wedding I’ve got to go to next week, and I was trying to lose six pounds by the weekend. I don’t think I’m going to do it, so I’m going to get my back waxed, and then, I’ll only have to lose two.

Q: What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don’t eat broccoli.

Sure, she may be a little lacking in conversation skills, but that’s OK. Unlike you, she doesn’t need to explain why she still wets herself, then falls asleep on our floor.

I love little children, but they are like pinatas full of urine.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.