Dirty Jokes

Nixon, Carter, Kennedy are on a boat. The boat’s going down. Carter says, ‘Women and children first.’ Nixon says, ‘Screw them.’ Kennedy says, ‘Do you think we have time?’

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding, but didn’t quite know how to do it. He soon found out that the vet would charge him $200 a pig. That was a little rich for his blood, so he figured he might be able to do it himself. So …

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, “What’s that?” “That’s my little red sports car,” said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, “What’s that?” “That’s my little red sports car garage,” said the little girl. …

The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope. Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say. He keeps asking the Pontiff questions about the church and, in particular, the …

The Seven Dwarfs were sitting in a tub feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

What’s red with seven dents in it? Snow White’s cherry.

One man is walking a tightrope. Another man is getting a blow job from a 90-year-old woman.What do the men have in common?In order to succeed, both must follow the same advice: don’t look down.

A travelling salesman is out in the country selling his wares. He is in the middle of nowhere when his car breaks down, he leaves the car and starts walking and reaches a small farm house. He knocks and a middle aged man opens the door. The salesman asks him …

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian in a wrestling meet. They were nervous because he had a famous move called “The Russian Pretzel,” which often landed his opponents in the hospital. When the first American caught a glimpse of him, he said, “Coach, he’s HUGE. I’m scared.” …