Dirty Jokes

There was an old couple sitting at a table. The old man said to the old lady, “I remember 50 years ago we were sitting at this very table.” The old woman said, “Yes, and we were probably naked as jay birds.” The old man said, “Well, what do you …

The teacher was checking her student roster on the first day of school and saw that she was missing three boys and one girl. After a couple of minutes went by, a boy named John walked in and the teacher asked where he was. He said, “Shree Hill.” Then another …

A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her breast and says, “These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a bra for me.”Then the husband pats her butt and says, “This is nice, but if it was …

Q: What do you call 12 naked guys sitting on each other’s shoulders?

A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he …

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane’s engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and …

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!”

You have very nice legs. What time do they open?

What is the longest organ in a sheep’s body? A New Zealander’s c**k!

A farmer finds a man screwing one of his sheep and a little boy watching.He walks up to the boy and asks, “Who’s that screwing my sheep?”The boy replies, “That’s my Daa-aa-aad.”