Dirty Jokes

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, ”You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.” So the married …

What kind of math don’t they teach in school? How to add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!

What’s 69 plus 69? Dinner for 4.

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: “TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00.”A policeman stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, “JESUS SAVES.”One of the girls …

A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. “The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis.” A little boy in the front row jumped …

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they’d ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. “Great,” said the …

SEX CONTRACT I, _______________________, hereby surrender all possibilities of friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in exchange for one (1) night of USDA approved fondling and fornication. I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or otherwise contact/harass or vex said co-signer of contract for …

John: I didn’t sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?Bob: I’m not sure. What was your wife’s maiden name?

A concerned girl asked the priest, “Father, is it a sin to have sex before receiving communion? He replied, “Only if you block the aisle.”

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.