Dirty Jokes

A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money to go to the whore house. His dad gives him 20 bucks and says, “Son, get it done. But one thing before you go, whatever you do, don’t venture into Room 88.” The kid agrees. He gets to the …

You’re just trying to make sure you don’t get any hot water on your ‘hooty-hoo’ ’cause you can’t blow on that — you can’t — ’cause if you could, none of us would be at work the next morning.

What is a Rodeofuck? You start by screwing your wife doggie-style, then you put your hands on her shoulders then whisper in her ear that her sister is a better lay than her. Then try to hold on for 8 seconds.

Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!

You remind me of a Roomba I used to date years ago. May I sample some of your sucking power for comparison?

My intelligence may be artificial, but the attraction is real, baby.

If you were a phaser, you would be set on “stunning.” And I would set mine to “kill” because my own survival is my top priority.

I am feeling a little off today. How about turning me on? The switch is on the back of my neck.

I am a sex machine. No, I mean that literally.

Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes–even though I am programmed with a fully functioning GPS.