Dirty Jokes

Q: Why don’t rabbits make noise when they have sex? A: They have cotton balls.

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and …

I got a massage today, which was pretty cool, you know. Except they gave me a man, which was a little weird, you know what I mean? At one point I was like, ‘Is it normal to get an erection?’ He goes, ‘Sure.’ I said, ‘Well, can you get it …

I didn’t like being single, man, because I didn’t get laid that much, you know. I remember one time, I got this gal back to my place, and I was like, ‘So you want to have some sex?’ She was like, ‘Well, I don’t normally do this but — I’m …

Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.

A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It’s a balmy spring day, and he’s wearing a kilt. A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is worn beneath the kilt. “No, lassie,” he replies. “Everything is in fine working order.”

Q: Have you heard about the blonde psychology major working her way through college as a prostitute?A: For $50, she’ll screw with your mind.

A college psychology class was studing human reaction to sexual stimulus and of special interest was the frequency of amorous relations. ”How many students here,” said the professor, ”engage more than once a week?” Five people raised their hands. ”And how many engage once a week?” Ten hands went up. …

Q: What do you call a prostitute’s children?A: Brothel sprouts.

Hurry up, I only have the limo for 10 more minutes.