Dirty Jokes

Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he’s concerned and goes to the doctor.After a thorough examination, the doctor says, “You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary …

Q: What’s the difference between “oooh” and “ahhhh?”A: About four inches.

One day Adam and Eve notice God standing before them, holding a bag. “Hi, God. What’s in the bag?” asked Eve. “These are a couple of things that were left over from creation that I thought you two would be interested in.” God rummages around in the bag a moment. …

An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch. “You used to sit closer to me,” said the woman. So the man moved closer. “You used to put your arm around me.” So the man put his arm around her. “You used to nibble on …

What do mice and men have in common? They both run around hunting for holes!

A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when a woman sidles up next to him. “You’re cute,” says the woman, “do you want to go back to my place and have some nasty sex?” “You bet!” exclaims the hillbilly, “But I have to tell you, I’m a virgin. I’ve …

Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: “Screw me.”

Did you hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viagra to the old men living there? It’s to keep them from rolling out of bed.

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession. “Today Father Goodwin told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then opened my gates with his key.” “That bastard!” says Mother Superior. “He told …

A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn’t believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half. A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half. Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn’t think much …