Dirty Jokes

Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, “If you can sit in my basement for a day, I’ll give you free beer forever.”The first man walks out after five minutes and says, “It’s impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there.”So the second man tries his …

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, “What the hell do you guys think you are doing?” One of the Bulgarian men says, “Can’t you see? Ve arrrre …

Mommy, mommy, I don’t want to visit grandma today!“Shut up and keep digging, boy.”

I’m trying to toughen up my image. I don’t have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I’ve been ignoring.

I bet you guys are probably saying, ‘Victor, you’re a black albino. How come don’t you eat babies?’ You guys, that is a myth and a stereotype, OK? Honestly, you guys, I don’t eat babies; I don’t have red eyes — except for when I’m feeding, so I want you …

I actually recently had this bathroom adventure. I went to this urinal to, you know, urinalate, and this guy comes to the urinal, like, right next to me. You girls probably don’t know this, but if a guy comes to the urinal right next to you, and there’s, like, plenty …

Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn’t know if he was coming or going.

“Where did you get those zacklies?” “Zacklies?” “Yeah, your breath smells zacklie like your butt!”

“Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?” asked one vampire. “Oh, I thought we’d go to the movies, and then get a quick bite.”

Q: How do you know you’re in a vampire bar?A: There’s a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.