Dirty Jokes

Two drunk guys try to pick up some girls. Two girls go home with drunk guys home, slip blow-up dolls into their beds and leave. The next morning, one guy tells the other, “I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and …

Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.

What is green and jumps from bed to bed? A prostitoad.

Q: What’s green and eats nuts?A: Syphilis.

What’s the highest position in the Greek Navy? Rear Admiral!

An old man finds a condom in his grandson’s apartment and asks what it is.“It’s a condom,” replies the grandson, sheepishly.“What do you use it for?” asks Grandpa.The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, “I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain.”Grandpa says, “That’s …

An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband.When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. “Hey old timer,” she says, “come and get some of this!”The old man says, “Hell no, woman. …

A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a toaster because it didn’t work. The cashier told her that he couldn’t give her a refund because she bought it on sale. Suddenly the woman yelled, “Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!” The …

I’ve some bread dough in my pants. Wanna see if it rises?

My meat is Grade A.