Dirty Jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?A: One’s a Goodyear; the other’s a great year.

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.

Q: How do you know who gives good blow jobs? A: Word of mouth.

Q: How do you give a dog a bone? A: Tickle his balls.

Q: What does a woman do with her a**hole when she’s having a orgasm? A: She leaves him at home with the kids.

There was an old couple who hadn’t celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. Her husband yelled, “You can’t go out …

George of the Jungle lived all alone. There was no one to have sex with him, so instead he screwed a hole in a tree. One day, he found a woman in the jungle and the call to do the wild thing became too much. Soon they were making out …

I was working a club once, and the waitress came up to one of my buddies, and she goes, ‘I really want to sleep with Geoff Keith.’ That’s me! And then she goes — I swear to God — ‘But I just know that he’s way out of my league.’ …

I’ve been on the road a long time. I haven’t really had the chance to see my girlfriend. She called me up; she wanted us to have phone sex. I’m not really into phone sex, but to make her happy, we had the phone sex. It was really nice — …

I’ve been having a lot of hang-ups lately about homosexuality. I don’t know why; I just have them. For a long time, I thought maybe one of my roommates was gay. So finally, last night, when he asked me to slow dance naked with him in the strobe light, I …