Wheres your pencil, Bud? the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain. “I ain’t got one, Sir.” “You’re in England.now, Bud. Not ain’t, haven’t. I haven’t got a pencil. You haven’t got a pencil. They haven’t got a pencil.” “Gee!” said Bud. “Pop said …
Přečíst celý »An American tourist was visiting a quaint
An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the local pub. “And have you lived here all your life, Sir?” asked the American. “Not yet, m’dear,” said the farmer wisely.
Přečíst celý »An Irishman joined the
An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instructor said, “When you jump out of the plane, shout Geronimo and pull the ripcord.” When the Irishman woke up in hospital a few days later the first thing he said was, “What was the …
Přečíst celý »Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He’s the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
Přečíst celý »Q: How many French
Q: How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one, …
Přečíst celý »Q: How many Australians does it take to screw
Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first. A: Two – one to say “She’ll be right mate” and one to fetch the beers. A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 …
Přečíst celý »Q: How many Chinese Red Guards
Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 10,000 – to give the bulb a cultural revolution.
Přečíst celý »Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in
Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It’s a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.
Přečíst celý »Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a
Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here! A: Two, one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in.
Přečíst celý »Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a
Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One hundred – One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage.
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