Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing? 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond. Judge: And what were you doing? 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too.” Judge: Sounds …
Přečíst celý »One afternoon, a man was riding in
One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?”, he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for …
Přečíst celý »Two friends: – I heard that you have
Two friends: – I heard that you have founded a musical band. – Yes, it is a quartet. – How many are you? – We are three. – Three? – Me and my brother. – You have a brother? – No, why do you ask?
Přečíst celý »Two guys are talking:
Two guys are talking: (1) – I’ve bought a tour to my mother-in-law. (2) – Your mother-in-law???!!! (1) – Why not, to Bagdad.
Přečíst celý »A newlywed couple, after bringing their
A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the groom started swearing at the desk clerk. “We booked a cabin with a view for our honeymoon, …
Přečíst celý »Two women were sitting by the pool, and one
Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what kind of water they fill the pool with — fresh water or sea water? The cruise director answered, “Sea water.” “Oh, that explains why it’s so rough today.”
Přečíst celý »A man was given the job of painting the white
A man was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. When the foreman asked the man why he kept painting less each day, …
Přečíst celý »A man is hired by the circus to perform a
A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. He is asked to walk behind the elephants in the center ring, shoveling aside their droppings as they walk about. After a rather difficult evening at work, he goes to the circus cafeteria, sits with …
Přečíst celý »Abraham wanted a
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion …
Přečíst celý »An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed. To …
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