Johnny comes back from school crying and says, “Mommy, all the kids in the school say I have a big head.” His mother replies, “No, you don’t, Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings.”
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… C-Section
Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she was born, they had to perform a C-D-E-F-G-section.
Přečíst celý »John Wessling: Dad’s Fault
Dad hates that I’m a stand-up comic, but it’s his fault. He did the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life: did the splits getting out of the shower. Let that sink in. Fat man, wet floor — people, I can’t write a joke better than that.
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… BVDs
Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she puts on her BVDs, it spells out “boulevard.”
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Orange Juice Carton
Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she stared at the orange juice carton because it said “concentrate.”
Přečíst celý »John Mendoza: Using Dumbbells
I saw a thing in the store the other day, ‘Buy a set of dumbbells, get a video tape on how to use it.’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘You don’t know how to use dumbbells — what are the odds you know how to use a VCR?’
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Bungee
Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she collapsed the bridge.
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Needle
Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she couldn’t find a needle in a needle stack.
Přečíst celý »John Mendoza: Ugly People Don’t Know They’re Ugly
I don’t think ugly people know they’re ugly. I was at a party with a friend the other night. He says to me, ‘Look at that chick over there. She’s a dog.’ I said, ‘So are you. Go over and say hello. Just don’t have any kids.’
Přečíst celý »Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Bucket of Chicken
Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
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