Lookin’ Good Jokes

Yo’ Mama is so nasty, she flosses with bacon.

I don’t mean to stereotype, but like most women, I love to shoplift.

Yo’ Mama is so nasty, she brushes her hair with her toothbrush.

I like working out, but I can’t stand the characters in the public gym. No matter what city I’m in, there’s always the same people in there. There’s always that one guy that’s figured out the quickest way to look real big without actually training with weights is to squeeze …

A guy is at a urinal in a public restroom when a hunchback walks in and stands next to him. He glances over and sees that the hunchback has a gigantic penis.The guy says, “Man, if I had a d**k that big, I would be sucking it all day.”The hunchback …

Yo’ Mama is so hairy, Tarzan couldn’t get through her bush.

A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.“I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?”“Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. …

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn’t used to be?

Yo’ Mama is so hairy, when she went into the woods, Bigfoot took pictures of her.

A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head. The barman asks, “Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?”The man replies, “It’s a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday.”The barman remarks, “But it’s Wednesday.”Sheepishly, the man says, …