Lookin’ Good Jokes

Yo’ Mama is so fat, instead of wearing Levi’s 501 jeans, she wears Levi’s 1002’s.

I applied for a job at a construction crew once — a lot of big, burly guys there. The foreman said, ‘You can have this job, just fill this out,’ and he handed me a shirt.

Went to the beach today. I could feel the women just dressing me with their eyes.

There’s a woman in front of me — she’s a little bit big. And I don’t want to make fun of people’s weight because we all have good years and our bad years. And she, apparently, had many bad years in a row, because she put that little rubber mat …

Yo’ Mama has so many gaps in her teeth, it looks like her tongue is in jail.

I’m tired of TV makeovers because a TV makeover — they always take an average woman, and they make her beautiful. I can’t take an average woman and make her beautiful, but I can take a crazy woman and make her violent.

Yo’ Mama’s teeth have so many gaps, I don’t know whether to laugh or kick a field goal.

Men are simple. If she’s fine, we’re thinking one thought. We’re like: ‘Damn! I’d hit that.’ And if she’s ugly — if she’s ugly — we’re like: ‘Damn, oh! I’d hit that.’

I think you know when you have to go on a diet: when you go bungee jumping, and you pull the bridge down with you.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she has a kickstand on her peg leg.