Men Jokes

Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.

Men are like vacuum cleaners. They’re not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.

Men are like pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.

Men are like old car tires. Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.

Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom

Question: How many men does it take to mop the floor? Answer: None, it’s a women’s job.

Question: If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?